juices

ever since i came back for the hols mama would prepare for me (not that i ask her to) juices.my mom is very well known for her healthy food.less salt, less sugar (or better no sugar), steamed fish and vege, soups and her all-time favourite,ulam.her breakfast most of the time would be oats and mind you, this she would not add with neither milk nor sugar and added with chunks of fruits or dates or raisins or whatever she can find in the fridge.

okay back to the story, the first day she made me apple juice with a very,very minimal amount of sugar.but it wasnt so bad.then the next day she made a glass of juice and placed in the fridge to chill.so when i had my breakfast and i drank it,my face wanted to squirm and felt like throwing it into the sink.unfortunately, she was looking at me till i finished the whole glass.it was tomato and carrot with very little or no sugar..i had to pretend that i loved it and every sip that i took i stopped breathing. im a big fan of tomato, but when it has been crushed and the juices are blended together it wasnt the favourite vege anymore.

so today she made a better one.i guess mother's instincts tells her that i cant take in the last one.she made me carrot and soya bean.it was good!seriously!if she had made me two glasses i would have finished them all.

but, these are healthy food and i shouldnt be complaining.she's giving her best advice to me.the reason that she still look young even she's nearing the age of 60 makes me wanna follow in her footsteps..

no..thats not true

when i was a kid, my friends would tell me that im rich just by looking at my dad's car.then when we went out to the malls and my mom only gave me around RM20 to go for movies or dine at mcD they would wonder why i was not holding more cash then they assumed i would.

at first i got pissed with my parents for not giving me the money but as i grew up, i realised that the money dont belong to me.it's my parents who are rich not me.all the wealth that i was living in, the comfortable house and car, they belong to my parents not me.i didnt earn the money thru my own hardwork and sweat.and thus i cant be proud of the money that i have in my hands.

i was fortunate in a way that my dad has taught all of us since we were young that we need to earn the things that we want in our life.we would have to work hard for a simple new story book or a watch or a cd player.my dad would always tell us that he has no problem buying all those things for us but he do not want us to get 'em for free.we must earn those things that we desire.

and at this age, i would sometimes reward myself to a luxury item every time i felt that ive worked hard enough for the semester or ive conquered something in life at my own standards.for the next things in life that i will go through, i would do the same, for every phase of my life that i would embark in, i would work hard for it and earn the money to build my own life.my own future. and as far as possible i would love to see my partner work hard to build our life together so that we wuld appreciate it more because we have to go thru torns to be laying down on a bed of roses.so that even when the roses are dead we would still remember their sweet scents and see the wounds on our skin that we had to go through so that we wont give up when the hard times loom in.

and if im blessed with children, i would instill the same habit.they have to earn what they want even if we are able to give them with our salary.so that they will be a humble person and not boast around about the wealth that they live in.insyaAllah.

thank you rummies

this is dedicated especially to my rummies.they've been the best rummies or actually more of housemates for the past one year.

to my real rummie, anida daud:before being ur rumate, i barely know u.but during those periods we were together, i really got to know the real side of you. now i know that u r a very strong person.u r very determined in what u want to do and what u aim in life.u may be home almost every weekend but that do not bother me much bcoz when u r around we always have lots of things to chat and laugh about and i always look forward to being home when u r around. u also maybe small in size but are much matured in thought than all of us.ill always pray for ur health and happiness and success in life anid.

to my next door neighbour, fia and izana:okay, one person at a time..fi, uve been the best shoulder for me to cry on and that is an understatement.u were always there when no one else werent.u picked me up when i was broken to pieces. u help me stictch myself back into one piece and u were the one who wiped my tears and held my hand along the way.oh yes u've hurt me too but then who is perfect in this world???friendship IS about loving, caring, hurting and being able to admit ur mistakes, apologize and forgive each other's mistakes.i love u nevertheless and will always be here when u need me.im just a phone call away.
cik nab, u r a very down to earth person. i love it when u sneak into our room when we r doing our work and made us laugh.that was always our time out after a heavy read from the heavy koda kimble..hehehe.i love when u made ur tour to each room every morning too see evryone get ready and picked the right tudung or bag for us although we didnt ask u to do so..hehe.ill miss jumping onto ur bed and hear u screaming.i wish ul live happily with the one u love always.

to my other next door neighbour, wani and cik yang:wani, u were very i mean literally very quiet when we first moved in together.tapi sape bole tahan kalo asyik kena hentam tyme makan ramai2 and still keep queit kan?then after that u were talkative oredi..hehe and we loved it!!the time that we stayed overnight with mr dimples and fia was the best!roaming around k.l just to look for nyah(s)..what a night!!and the time that we had to do our final thesis together in the lab, awak sgt membantu and i thank you for that.i wish that ull live happily with ur mr ronaldo and have lotsa cute kids!!
cik yang( suara nyaring),saya akan rindu suara nyaring awak sgt2..hahaha...ill miss going into ur room and disturbing u and wani.ill miss too those time when u would come into our room and annouced "time berhibur" and u'll watch anid's video clips or u would just bring ur notes and stadi with us and i wont allow u to go back coz then ill be bored.hehehe.thanks cik yang.semoga jodoh awak dengan encik boolat berkekalan forever.

to my front neighbour, ecah and nini:ecah, i had doubts living with u in the first place and this is the honest me talking.but then i loved it!!!u know when u laugh while watching that korean show,ill be laughing too in my room for no apparent reason.weird but true.when u stadi with ur big koda or di piro u motivate me to study too and the way u tell ur stories, u made me interested to hear.hehe..im sorry if i made u angry the other day and sorry for any other mistakes that ive made and may have hurt u.u stay just the way u are and may u find ur mr right soon and i cant wait the day ull invite me to ur wedding.=)
last but not least, nini. u were like a sister to me.i refer to u when i had doubts bout anything.ul cry when u c me cry.ull laugh even more for small jokes that i made.u were always so kind to all of us.u took care of us like a mother would take care of her children.u may say that u r not matured but the way u think for all of us was matured and mother-ly enuff to me.u never hold dendam to anyone and u believe that all the bad things that others did there must be a good reason behind it.u were always optimistic about others.thank you for being my best fren or should i say sister??t kawen ngan cikgu ajak saya kay??

to all of u, i love u guys from the bottom of my heart and ill miss those times we were together.if there is an award for the best rumates, u guys definitely deserve it.forgive me for my mistakes and halalkan my makan n minum.till we meet again.muahx!!

~its not forever~

so it came to an end.finals done.spent time with besties, checked.hang out with rumies, checked.salam2 with classmates, checked.packed stuffs (sighs), checked.spend time with mr dimples, ongoing.

i cant believe its been 4 years..there were moments when i felt like giving up..there were moments i wanted to quit so bad. just felt like leaving everything behind, get on any plane and fly to anywhere but here.those were tough times.those were hectic times.but i thank Allah there were friends who were behind my back..pushing me endlessly.there were also my parents telling me not to look back but forward.there was also my sister who is a pHD holder who is my inspiration. shes the reason i keep telling myself "if she can handle it till that level, this i MUST conquer"

its true when u've passed a level and u r stable in one condition,you just cant sit still.there are things that you wanna do.new things u wanna discover.as for me, i keep telling mr dimples i want to do degree in medicine next!!!omigosh..u should look at his reaction..i told that to my best frens too..fia and nini..and they had almost the same expression as mr dimples.this all came to me when we were attached to the hospitals..i envy the doctors..i envy their responsibility and minimally i envy the paycheck..havent told mama this..she MIGHT be happy but honestly...i dont think im able to cope with that level of stress..the level of hecticness..

the best and nearest option that i may venture into is to take masters and pHD...but not now..not in a year's time.i need time to get my license.to learn the practical part of the job.to earn some moneyhh on my own.my parents surely are waiting for me to further my studies as soon as possible.but, ill do it at my own pace.at my own comfortable time and at my own liking.because i believe at this stage of education, you have to do it with ur own will cos its tougher but comes with a better pay in the end.

but, as for now,i pray to Allah The Mighty that we will pass all the papers with flying colors, be attached to places that we opted for, attend the convocation together, marry our mr/miss right and live happily, healthily.as for me and my bachelor in medicine..that would just be a dream that was never meant to happen.but with Allah's will, when one door closes, many other opens and those are the unfound dreams of mine.

untitled

i know i should be studying but these came so sudden at 2 oclock in the morning.so here it goes..

at the wee hours of this night,
i dream an absolute dream,
holding your hands tight,
standing under the sun beam.

at the wee hours of this night,
looking at your face by my side,
there's nowhere else i wanna be,
you are the only one that fill my heart with glee.

the shades of your eyes,
the lines on your face,
the complexion of your skin,
i cup it safe in my hands.

the laugh that you resonate,
the voice that you echo,
the gestures that you throw,
i record it safe in my memory.

you may be imperfect,
you make mistakes,
and i make them too,
but you are the one i run home to.

your arms that picked me up,
your fingers that wipe my tears,
your breath that shoo(s) d dust,
and your love that fills my heart,
it cheers me up everyday.

aizaminanuar
20100413

food for thought

people in general always divide the people in this world to many categories.

it can either be based on the skin color, the religion or the ethnicity.

from this categories, they then divide us based on their prejudism.

but, the truth is there are only two types of people in this world:

the good ones who do good deeds to others

the bad ones who are cruel to others.

that's all that matter.

no religion in this world and no ethnicity in this world preach on cruelty to others..its the people itself who choose to be that way..

so, there's no point in being prejudice and categorizing people..just choose to be on the good side or the dark side independent of ur religion, skin color, country or ethnicity.

one down, many more to go

when the other 150 students from our class went for their SPA interview i was either at my sis's place playing with my niece, or sleeping or shopping.i was not involved during that session of interview *cries*...but i cant blame us 4 who were not listed among the other hundreds.we registered online way before the closing date, we even double checked and our name is in the data base and we even received the confirmation letter from spa, however due to some problems in the faculty, someone mistakenly sent our wrong ic numbers to spa..thus, they couldnt find our name in the database..however, nothing can be done at that moment. the damage has been done.the mistake forgiven and life goes on.

so,when the rest of the class was relieved to have gone thru the interview easily we were still clueless on the exact date..but when the faculty called and told me the exact date for us to be interviewed..i was relieved.it was earlier than what they have told us but thats even better coz the un-exact date was during the studi week..

so, on Friday 2nd april we went for our interview in Putrajaya..there were only 6 of us and we waited for everyone to finish then balik sama2..how sweet...even the kerani asked.."aik, nape tiba2 semua keluar sekali??tunggu kawan2 siap jugak ek"

the interview went well and the interviewer was super duper friendly. it felt like talking to ur fren. i am truly releived that the interview has been settled. im truly relieved knowing that the interview was not as bas as i thought it would be. im truly relieved that its not during the studi week...

but this is only one of the hurdles that ive to go thru..the finals are sooo around the corner..
so..one down..many more to go..